Zombie Alternatives

I've been watching a lot of zombie movies lately. You know, the basic formulaic boy-meets-girl, boy-bashes-girl's-head-in-because-he's-a-zombie, girl-turns-into-a-zombie, boy-and-girl-go-around-bashing-everyone-else's-head-in movies.

The modern take on the zombie movie is that some sort of virus is turning everyone into monsters who want nothing but to attack the non-zombie population, which is usually only a handful of people just trying to survive in a bleak apocalyptic world. Fun stuff. Conceptually, I like the idea of a virus causing the zombiism, despite some major plot holes. (For example, why would the virus cause them to be violent only towards the uninfected? Why wouldn't the infected people just kill each other off?)

But then I thought, why are zombie-movie-makers so obsessed with violent zombies? If people are being infected with a virus, why not one that affects their behavior in more harmless, or even benevolent, ways? Here are my suggestions for alternative zombie movies:

• Cuddle Zombies. They go around cuddling everyone they see. Once you've been cuddled, you have the irresistible urge to cuddle others.
• Zerbert Zombies. Also known as "raspberries," zerberts are when you put your mouth on someone's stomach (usually a baby) and blow. What if the zombies just tried to zerbert everyone?
• Sex zombies. They try to have sex with everyone they come into contact with. This could actually be just as frightening as the violent ones.
  
• Pacifist zombies. The infected refuse to fight or kill other people. They form task forces to protest war and figure out strategies to promote peace and justice. They turn vegetarian, but develop and insatiable appetite for ice cream, which leads to their ultimate undoing when they peacefully accost the wrong ice cream truck, driven by Chuck Norris.
  
• Pull-My-Finger Zombies. Don't pull that finger! Not only will it unleash a cloud of stinkiness into the room, but you'll become a flatulence zombie, too.
  
• Tennis Zombies. Not content to just enjoy the game, they try to recruit everyone they know into taking it up. The difference between tennis zombies and the uninfected tennis enthusiast will be that the former have really weak serves, but can move around the court really well and get everything back. Also, they like to eat brains.
  
• INSERT YOUR IDEA HERE.
  

How about it, Hollywood?